Besaid Chronicles
by xX GTAshadow Xx
Summary: Old friends, new adventures... never before seen stories from the world of Spira!
1. Sphere Watching

**A Boring Weekend in Besaid**

_It looks a boring weekend in Besaid Village. Sin's gone and everyone's happy. But they're so bored, ya? _

"What do ya wanna do, Yuna?" _Wakka asks._

_Yuna looks around. She notices that Wakka had finally decided to get a TV, despite it being machina._

"Let's watch TV!" _she exclaims._

"Cool! What's on?" _Tidus asks._

_Wakka turns the TV on and switches to the Luca Sports Network. _

"Hey! The Al Bhed Psyches are playin' the Ronso Fangs, ya?" _Wakka says._

"Go, Psyches!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Hey, look! Kimahri's playing for the Fangs!" _Tidus declares as Kimahri swims out._

_In the blitz sphere, Kimahri suddenly does an awesome Sphere Shot and scores a goal._

"Yeah! Way to go!" _Tidus exclaims._

"Ah, this's boring! What else is on?" _Rikku asks._

_Rikku grabs the remote and flips channels. What they see is: "Cooking with Seymour" (yuck!), "Yevon's Teachings", and "Dra Nabyen Crub fedr Gippal" on the Al Bhed network._

"BORING!" _Rikku says. _"I'm gonna go get a Sphere player!"

_Rikku leaves, then shortly comes back with a Sphere player._

"I can do this." _Rikku says as she sets it up in a matter of seconds._ "Now... what should we watch?"

_Yuna and Rikku go out to rent some Spheres. On the way, they meet Seymour._

"Ah, Lady Yuna, what a surprise." _Seymour says._

"Cram it, Guado." _Rikku threatens._

"I see.. then, you won't be interested in this Sphere?" _Seymour asks as he offers Yuna a sphere._

_Yuna takes the sphere._

"What's in it?" _Yuna asks._

"That's a surprise..." _Seymour says as he disappears._

_Yuna and Rikku continue to the Luca Theatre. They look around for awhile._

"Look! 'When Chocobos Attack'! It's supposedly about some time when Clasko's chocobos went wild and starting tearing things up!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Tidus would like that. But I would like to see this sphere.. 'A Summoner's Romance." _Yuna says._

_Rikku and Yuna look around more. Rikku finds a sphere that's about machina, but it's in Al Bhed and the others won't understand it. _

_Yuna and Rikku finish their sphere renting and end up with: 'When Chocobos Attack', 'A Summoners Romance', and Zanarkand: Before the War'._

_They go back to Besaid._

"Cool! Now which one'll we watch first, ya?" _Wakka asks._

"How about 'A Summoner's Romance'?" _Yuna suggests._

"Romance? No way!' _Tidus protests._

"No. Let's get that one over with." _Auron says._

"What do you mean? This one's supposed to be good!" _Yuna exclaims._

"All right already! Let's just watch the damn thing!" _Wakka says as he puts the sphere in the player. _

"Drec ec kuhhy pa punehk..." _Rikku says._

_An hour later, the sphere ends with Rikku half asleep, Tidus fully asleep, Wakka missing (what?), Auron drinking from his sake jug, and Lulu just being Lulu, and Yuna crying._

"That was so... beautiful... and sad." _Yuna says as she dries her tears._

"That was so boring!" _Rikku says as she wakes Tidus up._

"Hey, where did Wakka go?" _Auron asks._

_Wakka enters just then. _

"Oh, while the boring sphere played, I went and played a few games of blitzball with the Aurochs, ya?" _Wakka explains._

"All right! It's time for 'When Chocobos Attack'!" _Tidus declares as he pops in the sphere._

"Oh yeah! That's better!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Yet another hour later, this time, Auron is gone, Tidus and Rikku are cheering, Wakka is gone again to play blitzball, Lulu is making coffee, and Yuna is eating candy. _

_Rikku goes to put in 'Zanarkand: Before the War', but it's far too cracked to play._

"Tysh oui, beala uv zihg! E's kuhhy kad y naviht!" _Rikku exclaims as she throws the sphere out the window._

_The sphere hits Keepa in the head._

"Ouch! What the hell is this? Eh, I can use it for blitz practice!" _Keepa says as he throws the sphere up and whacks it across the village._

_Meanwhile, Yuna decides to check out Seymour's mystery sphere._

"What's on Seymour's sphere?" _Yuna wonders as she puts it in the player._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 1_

_The Guado Glories had just won a game. They were drinking beer while Al Bhed Psyches kept bringing in more beer. This is called "The Glories-Psyches Deal"._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 2_

_Bikanel Desert. The Al Bhed are digging for stuff. One of the finds a robot named Worker 888. This is called "Al Bhed's Discovery"._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 3_

_Ifrit, Shiva, and Bahamut are dancing. The Magus Sisters are seen behind a Music Sphere Player playing music spheres. This is called "Aeon Party"._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 4_

_Is it a glitch? An accident? All it shows is Jecht and Auron drinking... oh well. This has no name._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 5_

_It's a message saying "Those who are viewing this must know this: There are many other Mystery Spheres around Spira. Find them all and start your own MYSTERY SPHERE THEATRE!_

"Mystery Sphere Theatre?" _Yuna wonders as she shuts the Sphere Player off._

"Spheres around Spira?" _Tidus wonders._

"Let's find them!" _Rikku declares._

"What for?"_ Lulu asks._

"It'll be fun! Another quest!" _Rikku exclaims._

"All right! We'll do it! Mystery Sphere Theatre!" _Tidus declares._

_With that, they vowed to find all the Mystery Spheres in Spira. Will they be succesful with thier Mystery Sphere Theatre? _

_Well..._

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Du Pa Luhdehiat...**_


	2. Mystery Spheres at Mt Gagazet

_Ah, Besaid Village... what? Yuna and company are gone! Oh, looks like they're getting ready for their journey for **Mystery Sphere Theatre.**_

"E fecr **Wakka** fuimt rinno rec ycc ib! Fa'na mayjehk cuuh!" _Rikku shouts angrily._

_Wakka then comes out of the Temple with the Aurochs. They had just finished up a Halo 2 tournament on Botta's new X-Box machina._

"More machina in the Temple?" _Yuna asks._

"This machina is actually not bad, ya? Too bad there's no Blitzball on it." _Wakka says._

_Just then, the airship lands nearby._

"**Rikku**! Vydran fyhdc oui du ramb fedr dra famlusehk lanasuho uv **Gippal**! Ra'c pylg vnus rec zuinhao eh dra tacand! Ra cyoc ra vuiht cusa geht uv nupud dryd lyh piemt ruicac yht cdivv! Cu kad ouin ycc eh kayn yht ramb uid!" _Brother calls to Rikku._

"Cdivv ed, **Brother**!" _Rikku counters._

_With that, the airship takes off. _

"What did you say to him?" _Yuna asks._

"Nothing! Nothing... important... well! Let's go!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Hey! I just got a call from Kimahri! He says he found a sphere while digging on Mt. Gagazet!" _Tidus declares._

_So, everyone (on chocobos?) goes to Mt. Gagazet. Kimahri shows them the sphere. It is indeed a Mystery Sphere, but will it work?_

"Since when could Chocobos cross water?" _Yuna wonders._

_Rikku has brought the Sphere Player along. She puts the new sphere in. _

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 1_

_Nothing 'strange' going on here. Jecht, Braska, and Auron at the Calm Lands. Braska is buying stuff. Auron is drinking. Jecht is trying to make booze from the fluid of a dead Malboro. This has no name..._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 2_

_The Al Bhed Psyches are being served beer by the Guado Glories. This is called "The Tables Have Turned"._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 3_

_Braska and Belgemine are having an Aeon duel. Braska wins and receives a case of beer. This has no name._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 4_

_Auron is drinking Braska's beer. Jecht is seen in the background jumping into the Moonflow. Braska buys some more beer. This is called "Moonflow Beer Spree"._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 5_

_A shot of Jecht's Sphere Grid... ? What in Yevon's name is this? Jecht has learned all kinds of stuff like "Jecht Dance" and " Shoopuf Slasher". Let's hope no one has to find out what "Jecht Dance" is..._

_Mystery Sphere - Scene 6_

_Zanarkand. Someone is looking at girls through binoculars. That someone turns out to be Jecht._

_MYSTERY SPHERE COMPLETE._

"What was that all about?" _Tidus wonders._

"Kimahri find this also." _Kimahri says as he hands over another sphere._

_Yuna takes the sphere and inserts it into the player._

_Special Sphere #1:_

_"Uin haf **machina** femm bnajahd dra **Guado** vnus yddylgehk ic ykyeh! Fa femm napiemt Home yht gaab druca vniedo **Guado** uid! Fro tet dra **Guado** payd ic cu vnaygeh' pyt, oad fa payd DRAS cu vnaygeh' pyt eh dra pmedw cbrana! Pid drah... dra **Luca Goers** payd IC pyt eh dra pmedw cbrana... tuac drec sayh fa luimt aycemo yddylg **Luca**? Hyrrr... esbuccepma!"_

_**This Sphere has been labeled "Al Bhed Sphere".**_

"Rikku? What was that about?" _Tidus asks._

"I dunno! They just talk about rebuilding Home and keeping the Guado out." _Rikku explains._

_Well, they found two Spheres! On and Auron found an HP Sphere that he gave it Lulu who promptly placed it in her Sphere Grid and gained an easy 300 HP! And Kimahri learned how to Steal!_

_**Things that also happened:**_

_**The Kilika Beasts won a game.**_

_**Auron filled his jug with coffee.**_

_**Rikku learned Cheer.**_

_**A Flame Flan got into the Airship and Cid fell in it.**_

_**Brother fell out of the Airship and landed in a Dark Flan.**_

_**That's about it.**_

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Du Pa Luhdehiat...**_


	3. Some really weird spheres

_Now what's going on in Besaid? Have they found another sphere?_

"Hey! I found a sphere on the beach!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Well... what're ya waiting for, ya?" _Wakka asks as Rikku puts the sphere in the player._

_The sphere is old... and strange... it is showing a strange land. _

"What's this... ?" _Yuna asks._

_They see a herd of chocobos run across a plain. Some fighters follow close behind. One of them speaks: "They gotta be here somewhere! Sir Wiegraf is counting on us to kill them!" Another warrior steps up and speaks: "But Lord Gustav! We cannot fight them alone! Look at their chocobos! There's Red ones, Black ones..." The first warrior just replies: "You stupid ass! We got the power of the Holy Knights now! We can beat anything!" ...the sphere goes black._

"What the... ?" _Tidus wonders._

"That was... interesting." _Yuna says._

"Well, let's go back to the beach! There's bound to be more spheres!" _Tidus declares._

_With that, everyone goes to the beach. Even the Aurochs, for some odd reason. To their surprise, Keepa spots a huge castle up on the cliff. It's not machina either!_

"Rumo cred! Muug yd dryd bmyla! Fryd luimt ed pa vun? Ur lnyb, E haat cikyn!" _Rikku exclaims as she pulls some candy out of her bag and eats it,_

_"_Why does she always wanna speak in Al Bhed nowadays?" _Datto asks._

"No one knows... " _Lulu replies._

"Hey, get outta here!" _Rikku yells as she kicks Keepa away from her candy._

_Everyone climbs up to the castle. It's really old. So old that Rikku opens the door and some of the wall crashes down!_

"Ahhhhh! Rumo cred! That was **not** good!" _Rikku exclaims._

_"_Let's try the window." _Yuna suggests._

_They all climb in easily through a nearby window. Inside, they find spheres! Lots of spheres!_

"Rumo cred!" _Tidus exclaims._

"Do you even know what that means?" _Wakka asks._

_"_No, but I wanted to sound cool!" _Tidus says._

"Let's check this sphere first!" _Rikku says as she grabs a random sphere._

_In the sphere, those warriors are seen again. This time, they're fighting in a strange castle. There is also a new warrior there. _

_"Sir Wiegraf! We can't hold on much longer!" a warrior exclaims before he is promptly killed by his leader._

_The sphere goes black, then fades back in with two warriors. One looks like that "Sir Wiegraf" from before, but the other is unknown. _

_"Draw your sword, Ramza... if you don't, I will." the first warrior says._

_"Wiegraf! What about Miluda?" the second one shouts._

_"I don't give a damn about Miluda's murder..." 'Wiegraf' says._

_They fight until 'Wiegraf' is injured. He promptly turns into a beast and a bunch more warriors barge in. _

"This is gettin' weirder and weirder, ya?" _Wakka commented._

"Quiet! This part looks good!" _Rikku says._

_Back in the sphere, a few scenes blacked out and it ends up showing the beast from before dying in a massive explosion. The warrior 'Ramza' picks up a stone and says: "Alma". Then, the sphere ends._

"Wow... the ending... was rather sad." _Yuna says, fighting tears._

"So, what was it?" _Wakka asks._

"Who knows? Let's check more!" _Tdus declares._

_Yuna chooses a sphere. _

_In this sphere, a chocobo is seen fighting against a Coeurl. But this Coeurl is purple... ! Suddenly, it rises and fires a beam at that chocobo which turns it into stone! A young girl in the background exclaims: "Yeah! Way to go, Vampy!" _

"A purple Coeurl? Vampy?" _Lulu wonders._

"Never seen one like that.. " _Auron says._

"...I'm hungry!" _Rikku says._

"...yeah, me too. Let's see if we can find some food." _Tidus says._

_In a matter of seconds, Yuna locates the kitchen._

"Wow! That was fast!" _Rikku exclaims._

_In the fridge (in a castle?), Yuna finds moldy bread, rotten pudding, a shaker of salt, a case of beer, and an Ice Flan._

"Ahh! Flan! Get it outta here!" _Rikku screams._

_Auron does Shooting Star and sends the Flan flying out the window._

_Wakka, Auron, and Tidus take the beer into the other room._

_"_Wait! There's something else here!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Yuna pulls out a large turkey. It's still good too! She immediately starts cooking it. With Ifrit's help of course!_

"HELLO! O'AKA HERE! GIMME THAT BEER!" _O'aka shouts as he crashes through the roof._

"Ahhhh! Okay! Fine! Take it!" _Tidus exclaims._

"THANK YOU BASTARD! HERE'S YOUR DAMN GIL!" _O'aka shouts as he flies (?) away, leaving 1,500,000 gil behind._

"What the hell was that?" _Rikku asks._

"Was that O'aka? Why was he flying?" _Yuna asks._

"Who gives a flyin' Aeon?" _Tidus exclaims._

_Rikku chooses another sphere._

_This sphere says "1000 ways to cook a chocobo"._

_Yuna tries a sphere._

_This one shows the Ronso Fangs in the hot springs with the Luca Goers and... Yuna shuts the sphere off._

"That was **just wrong**." _Rikku says._

"It's gettin' late, ya?" _Wakka says._

_Everyone decides to head back to Besaid. They decided not to take any spheres with them. ...except for "1000 Ways To Cook A Chocobo" and this other that shows the Guado Glories being beaten by the Besaid Aurochs. Not in the blitz sphere, either!_

_**Well... then this is... TO BE CONTINUED...**_

Rumo cred! Frana'c dra vnelgeh' dingao! **Yunie**! Oui vunkud du dyga dra vnelgeh' dingao uiddy dra ujah yd dryd lycdma!

...oh yeah, about that turkey... Cid and Brother pulled up in the airship and took it. They had a nice feast.

The others just had some of Wakka's leftover chili...


	4. Another Mystery Sphere

_Now what the hell's goin' on n Besaid. Oh! It's Seymour! Kill him! ...wait. Let's see what he wants... then kill him._

"Yunie! Seymour's here!" _Rikku exclaims as she speeds through the Besaid Temple to warn.. uh, TELL Yuna about Seymour's arrival._

"What does _he_ want?" _Yuna asks._

_Seymour walks into the Temple._

"Ouch! Stupid Temple!" _Seymour says as he opens the Temple door and enters._

"Seymour!" _Tidus exclaims._

"What?" _Seymour asks._

"...that's all I got." _Tidus says as he walks away._

"Seymour! Why are you here?" _Yuna asks sharply._

"Lady Yuna... I saw that you and your Guardians were interested in those spheres at the Besaid Ruins. I just thought I'd bring you this one I found." _Seymour says._

"Right, fine, thanks. Now leave." _Yuna says._

_"_I don't want to." _Seymour counters._

_With that, Tidus, Wakka, and Auron all gang up on Seymour and throw him into the ocean._

_They watch the new sphere._

_**"POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! POKEMON!" **_

"Fryd dra ramm ec **Pokemon**?" _Rikku exclaims._

_Brother appears suddenly._

"Kuddy lydlr 'as ymm!" _he shouts._

_Brother leaves quickly._

_In the sphere, there is someone walking along the road. He has a yellow rat thing beside him. He is seen entering a building called a **Gym**_.

"What's this?" _Yuna asks._

"This looks gay! Get it outta here!" _Rikku exclaims as she throws the sphere away. _"Leave it to Seymour to bring us junk!"

_Everyone decides to go back to the Besaid Ruins._

"It's... different." _Yuna comments._

_It is different. There is now more furniture and less rubble. Looks like someone's living here?_

"Hey! Another sphere!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Rikku checks the sphere. This one shows a blitzball game between the Zanarkand Abes and the Colorado Avalanche (!). It is the second half and the Abes are winning 28 - 0._

"The Abes are winning!" _Tidus exclaims._

_In the sphere, Tidus (?) is shown performing a Sphere Shot._

"What the?" _Tidus says._

"What the **vilg** is this?" _Rikku exclaims._

_"Tidus" scores with another Sphere Shot._

"Geez! What _is_ this?" _Tidus exclaims._

_The Sphere goes black._

"...aw, I wanted to see who won.." _Rikku says._

_Auron finds another sphere. (Just 'cause he hasn't actually DONE anything yet!)_

"Hey! That actually a Mystery Sphere!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Mystery Sphere!_

_Scene 1:_

_The Abes have beaten the Duggles. That same "Tidus" from before is receiving some kind of award._

_Scene 2: _

_Biran and Yenke Ronso in the hot springs. Let's get outta here before it gets nasty._

_Scene 3: _

_A Chocobo in the hot springs. Suddenly, a Ronso falls into the hot springs and scares the Chocobo away._

_Scene 4:_

_The Aurochs playing XBox. Halo 2 to be exact._

_Scene 5:_

_Drunken Cactuars everywhere! Run! 10000 Needles everywhere!_

_End Mystery Sphere._

"Weird.." _Rikku says._

_Everyone goes back to Besaid and relaxes or whatever. Now..._

_**To Be Continued...**_


	5. Blitzball and Spheres

_Now what's going on in Besaid? Tidus, Wakka, and Auron are gone to Luca for a Blitzball Tournament. Lulu is gone to Kilika for some reason. Kimahri is still at Gagazet. That leaves Rikku and Yuna, then? Biggs and Wedge appeared with a few. Yuna has just decided to watch them._

"Wedge, shouldn't you be in Luca for the Tournament? Wakka and Tidus could use your help." _Yuna says._

"Tournament? ...Holy Yevon on a pogo stick! I'm late!" _Wedge exclaims as he bolts out the door._

"Wedge is better than me..." _Biggs says as he leaves._

"I still can't believe Tidus went and got Blappa and Eigaar from the Psyches. Did he have to kick Jassu and Datto off the team?" _Rikku says._

"Yes. He kept Botta for Venom Pass 2." _Yuna says._

"Well... let's check these spheres!" _Rikku exclaims._

**Sphere 1: **

_Another blitzball game in Zanarkand. Except the Abes are not playing..._

**Sphere 2:**

_The Abes are in the Gagazet Hot Springs. _

**Sphere 3:**

_Braska's Final Summoning! No, wait... it's just some guy dressed up as Braska... pretending to summon the Final Aeon, which is just a chocobo with a large box on its head._

**Sphere 4: **

_A strange kid throws a strange ball at an Aeon. The Aeon just looks at the ball and eats it. The kid runs away._

"Is that it?" _Yuna asks._

"Guess so.." _Rikku says._

_Suddenly, an Al Bhed appears at the door._

"Saccyka vun **Rikku**: Pnehk pylg cusa dingao yht paan vun **Brother**! Ra ec xieda ibcad ypuid dryd mycd dingao kuehk du fycda! Cu oui pnehk res cusa!" _he says._

"Fryd? Damm res du kad rec ufh tysh dingao yht paan! E'ja ryt ahuikr uv drec lrulupu cred! Ra lyh lruga uh y tayt lrulupu vun ymm E vnelgeh' lyna! Fryd y vikkeh' ficc! Lyh'd ra tu YHODREHK vun rescamv?" _Rikku shouts angrily._

"Zicd y sehida..." _the guy says as he walks away. He talks on his cell phone for a moment, then comes back. _"**Brother **cyoc du kad ouin ycc ib du dra **airship **un ra femm hud mad oui ica rec **sphere player** yhosuna!" _he shouts back._

"Veha... E'mm ku! Tyssed! Fro tuac ra tu drec?" _Rikku replies. _

_The guy leaves._

"What was that about?" _Yuna asks._

"You don't wanna know..." _Rikku says as she leaves._

**To Be Continued...**


	6. Rikku's New Machina

_What the hell? Nothing's changed in Besaid? Oh... well._

"Yes! I got Argai Ronso! Wakka! We finally got Argai Ronso!" _Tidus exclaims._

"Ya mean that big dude with the assload of goals?" _Wakka asks._

"Yeah! That guy!" _Tidus declares._

_Yuna enters Wakka's house._

"God dammit!" _a voice shouts as Yuna walks in._

"What was that?"_ she asks._

"Oh, you like my new 'dataDyne shocktrooper' machina?" _Rikku asks as she pushes a few buttons on a remote._

"God dammit! You bitch! What the hell? Ay carumba! Take 'er down, men!" _the machina shouts._

"And check this out!" _Rikku exclaims as she pushes another button._

"Kut tyssed! Oui pedlr! Fryd dra ramm? Yo lynispy! Dyga 'an tufh, sah!" _the machina shouts._

"It even reacts to actions!" _Rikku explains as she whacks the machina._

"Dammit! I'm taking fire!" _the machina shouts. _

"Tyssed! E's dygehk vena!" _it shouts again as Yuna tries hitting it._

"This machina came with a sphere." _Rikku says as she turns the sphere on._

**dataDyne HQ: 2023 AD**

_**Dr. Caroll is inside. We must get him out! Wait! ...no, Joanna! Don't! You can't put cheats on and fool around! Noooooo! Oh, crap. She's got cheats...**_

"Fryd dra ramm fyc dryd?" _Rikku shouts as the sphere shuts off._

_Suddenly, Rikku's cell phone rings. She answers it._

"Rammu?" _she says._

"**Rikku**! Rinno dra ramm ib yht kad sa cusa tysh luvvaa! Fryd dra vnelg ec dygehk oui cu tysh muhk? RINNO IB, TYSSED! Rinno, rinno, rinno, tyssed, tyssed, tyssed! Oui't paddan kad pylg rana xielg 'lyica E's ryjehk **Buddy **yht **Gippal **ujan du bmyo **Halo 2** yht frydhud! CU RINNO IB!" _Brother shouts from the other end._

"Crid dra ramm ib ymnayto! E kud ouin tysh luvvaa! Cu beba tufh yht crid ib! E's lusehk!" _Rikku counters. _"Sorry, Yunie... I gotta go." _She leaves._

"Well, it's just you and me, now... " _Yuna says as she smacks the machina._

"Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm? Fryd dra ramm?" _it responds._

"Uh... what... shuts it off." _Yuna wonders as she searches for an OFF switch. _"Oh, forget it! Bahamut! I choose you!"

_Ash Ketchum runs in... and gets crushed by Bahamut._

_Bahamut shuts the machina off with a button that was in **plain view** on the machina's back. _

"Geez, Yuna. Can't you do anything?" _Bahamut says as he vanishes._

_**To Be Continued...**_


	7. More blitzball and spheres

_What? They've given up Mystery Sphere theatre? ...oh, but they're still looking for strange spheres to watch, however. Rikku's new machina has left town in search of someone named 'Joanna'. It came back with a few spheres._

"Let's watch them!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Rikku turns the first sphere on. _

_**dataDyne HQ - 2023 AD**_

"Not again!" _Rikku shouts._

**_A warrior with a huge gun is 'reap'ing the hell out of dozens of other warriors who have puny piece of crap guns. _**

"Well! I like that machina she's got!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Why does she kill so much? Is she Sin?" _Yuna wonders._

_**The warrior now has strange bombs that she throws onto her opponents. She runs back and presses a button on a small stick thing and watches the enemy go flying.**_

"That reminds me of the time when Kimahri Thrust Kick'd a chocobo across the Djose Highroad!" _Tidus declares._

_**The warrior is seen entering an elevator and the sphere goes black. It shows stats of some kind: 41 kills, 5 head shots, 62 body shots, 31 limb shots, 20 other shots.**_

"..." _Yuna is lost in thought._

_Just then, the Besaid Aurochs burst in. They consist of Wakka, Tidus, Wedge, Kyou, Deim, Larbeight, Argai Ronso, and Keepa. _

"Holy crap! The only real Aurochs left are Keepa and Wakka!"_ Rikku suddenly realizes._

"Yeah, Jassu is with the Guado Glories... Yevon knows where Datto and Letty are, and Botta... he's a loser." _Tidus explains._

"I saw Sir Auron at the cafe." _Yuna says._

"I know! He's been there all along 'cause we're to hyper for him!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Rikku's 'machina bot' enters._

"...new sphere." _it says as it hands Rikku a sphere. Rikku turns it on._

_**Zanarkand: Yevon Dome: some people are advertising for a concert. Whose concert it is cannot be verified... the sphere goes black.**_

"A concert? Whose concert?" _Yuna asks._

"I dunno! I never saw any concerts!" _Tidus declares._

"Is this linked to that one with 'Tidus' playing blitzball?" _Rikku asks._

"I don't know and I don't care." _Lulu says as she leaves._

"Where'd she come from?" _Wakka wonders._

"She was there all along, no one notice 'cause she's always wearing black." _Rikku says._

_The Aurochs leave for their next game. _

_Aurochs VS Fangs... ooh, Kimahri... is goin' down!_

_Wakka wins the blitzoff. He passes to Wedge. Wedge passes to Kyou. Kyou passes to Wedge. Repeat, repeat, repeat until Wedge finally passes it to Tidus. Tidus finally scores a damn goal after he thinks everyone's gotten enough EXP. Halftime._

_Wakka is switched out for Deim._

_Second half. Deim wins the blitzoff. Deim passes to Argai Ronso while putting Mifurey to sleep. (Mifurey replaced Gazna, for some stupid reason.) Argai Ronso scores a goal. Mifurey gets the blitzoff. Wedge beats the hell out of her and passes to Tidus. Tidus scores. Time's up. _

_Aurochs win._

_Linna's contract with the Goers is up. The Goers sign Linna for 10 more games. Dammit! Hurry up and fire her! Tidus wants her! Oops, sorry Yuna!_

**To Be Continued...**

_**About the chocobo thing...**_

_**... I once ejected a chocobo on the Djose Highroad. It was in FFX-2. Rikku was a Mascot with Instinct learned. The chocobo flew into the rock wall. It was funny.** _


	8. Perfect Dark?

_The new Aurochs: Wakka, Tidus, Deim, Linna, Argai Ronso, Keepa, Wedge._

_Ah, yes... Tidus finally was able to hire Linna... but poor Deim..._

"Larbeight! Where are you?" _Deim calls as she searches for her lover._

"Larbeight? He's still a free agent. He must suck now that players like Brother, Linna, and Wakka are getting good." _Tidus says._

"He _does_ suck!" _Wedge declares._

"Ronso never suck!" _Argai bellows._

"No way! Argai, we'll _never_ fire you! You can score from a mile away! Even if the goalie's wide awake!" _Tidus declares._

_Rikku's robot enters._

"SPHERE. FOUND NEW." _it bellows._

"All right!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Rikku turns the sphere on._

**A large building... many dark-suited cadets (?) are pacing around. One of them has a scar, and a strange weapon. The sphere goes black... then fades in with a speech spoken by that same cadet. The speech is unable to be heard. The sphere goes black.. and stays black.**

"What... ?" _Rikku wonders._

"Sir Auron's still in the cafe!" _Yuna exclaims._

"I know! Now shut up!" _Tidus yells._

_Yuna runs outside crying._ _She gets smacked by a blitzball._

"Crap!" _Tidus yells._

_Tidus runs outside and heals Yuna with Curaga (!). _

"See, Yuna? It's a good thing I went into your Sphere Grid!" _Tdus says._

"Tidus did Yuna's Sphere Grid? Must've been bored, ya?" _Wakka says._

"Oh well, it's better than Kimahri doing Lulu's Sphere Grid. Why's he doing that anyway?" _Rikku asks._

"SPHERE AGAIN." _the robot bellows._

"COOLIES!" _Rikku exclaims as she turns it on._

**That futuristic place again. The warrior with the 'Reaping Gun' is back. She throws a grenade and blows up a taxi cab. Some other warriors come out and shoot at her, but she is invincible.. ? The warrior goes crazy and kills everyone in sight. The sphere goes black.**

"COOL! That makes me wanna do this!" _Rikku exclaims as she pulls out a grenade and throws it. It takes out half the Crusaders Lodge._

"HOLY SH----------!" _Luzzu shouts as he sees the damage._

_Keepa runs in, slaps Rikku, and runs out._

"Owie... oui buuborayt!" _she yells after him._

_Meanwhile, Larbeight is in Kilika waiting for someone to sign him. He gets smacked by a blitzball and falls into the water._

"Larbeight!" _Deim shouts._

_She dives in for him... and enters battle with Sahagins._

_Deim throws a blitzball for little damage. A Sahagin picks her up and throws her out of the water._

"And stay out!" _it yells._

_Larbeight washes ashore._

_Back with the gang..._

"...and so Deim told us about the time when Kulukan got drunk and tried to rape a Sahagin, only to anger it and cause it to go hump a chocobo, which caused the chocobo to go flying across the Djose Highroad and hit Rin's Supply Cart, which caused Rin to fall off into the ocean." _Linna says._

"Wow... nice story..." _Rikku says, bored._

_Outside, Wakka's is talking to the Aurochs._

"So what's out goal?"_ he asks._

"TO DO OUR BEST!" _the Aurochs yell._

:"What.. ? I thought we did this already, ya? No, our new goal... is VICTORY!" _Wakka says._

"Nooooooooooo!" _someone yells._

"Rikku! Turn down that blasted Perfect Dark game!" _Wakka yells._

"Sor-ry!" Oui pimmo!" _she shouts back._

"Hey... this 'Perfect Dark' stuff looks like the stuff we saw in those spheres.." _Yuna observes._

"Hey, yeah! It does! So those spheres are... "Perfect Dark".. !" _Rikku exclaims._

"Yeah! We figured it out!" _Yuna cheers._

_Yuna and Rikku do their victory poses._

"All right... no more coffee for them, ya?"_ Wakka says from outside._

"Hey, Linna! Get your 900 gil ass over here and some me some of your moves!" _Wedge calls to Linna._

"I'll show ya **all my moves** later, honey!" _she says._

"I'm gonna go see if they found any spheres in the Temple." _Yuna says as she leaves._

_Yuna goes to the temple and towards the cloister of trials. Somehow, she falls UP the stairs..._

"What the.. ? Owie! That hurties!" _Yuna says as she gets up and enters the cloister of trials._

"Huf dryd'c luum." _a random Al Bhed says._

"What? What's an Al Bhed doing in the temple?" _a sage man yells._

"CRED! RUMO CRED!" _the Al Bhed says as he quickly escapes._

_**To Be Continued...**_


	9. Spheres and Sugar Cookies

_So Rikku has found a connection between the spheres and the Perfect Dark game... but why is it in the spheres? And then... crap! Here comes Wedge!_

"Stupid Tightass! He can't fire me! All because Shaami and Linna are hot girls! Lousy piece of..." _Wedge says as he gets knocked out by a blitzball._

"Yeah! Wedge sucks!" _Shaami exclaims._

"Tidus will _never_ hire me!" _Vilucha says._

"Wanna bet?" _Tidus asks._

"I suck too." _Biggs says._

"No you don't. You're with the Psyches." _Wedge says._

"See what I mean?" _Biggs asks._

_Rikku's robot brings more spheres._

_Rikku's robot reeks of rabbit roast?_

"Fryd dra ramm?" _the robot asks._

"COOL! MORE SPHERES!" _Rikku shouts._

"She's been in the sugar cookies again."_ Yuna realizes._

_Rikku turns on a sphere._

**Some random little people are running about doing their thing. One is drinking coffee, one is dancing, two are playing pool, three are in the pool, and one is sleeping. Oh, and there's a monkey running around picking stuff up and entertaining the house guests.**

"Cool! Little people!" _Rikku exclaims as she eats another sugar cookie._

_Rikku turns on another sphere._

**A crazed madman runs through a forest, slaughtering everyone in his path. The sphere goes black just as he's about to swing a small ax.**

_Rikku screams_.

"What was that? What was that? What was that?" _she shouts._

"Rikku... calm down, it's not like he'd come here." _Yuna comforts her._

_Suddenly, an ax flies through the window. Rikku screams._

"Sorry!" _Keepa says from outside._

"Keepa, you stupid BEEP ! You scared Rikku really bad, you BEEP BEEPBEEP !" _Yuna screams._

_Keepa is seen running **really fast** out of the village._

"When Yuna's mad, she's mad, ya?" _Datto says._

"Rikku... go lie down." _Yuna says._

"Okay..." _Rikku says._

_Yuna turns on a sphere._

**Shaami, Deim, and Linna at a party. Shaami's dancing, Deim's flirting, and Linna's drunkenly trying to do Sphere Shot to a beer bottle. Larbeight runs in and yells at Deim. Deim starts crying. Shaami falls down the stairs. Argai Ronso helps her up. Deim and Larbeight kiss and make up. Kulukan looks jealous, but she soon starts flirting with Vuroja. Bickson acts like a jackass. **

"Weird..." _Yuna says._

"W31RD." _the robot says._

**To Be Continued...**

_**SUBLIMELY MAGNIFICENT JECHT SHOT MARK III! Or else... Jecht Shot 2... or whatever... **_

_**Mighty Morphin' Power Jecht Mark II?**_


	10. 90Second Alphabet

_The TV's broken and there's nothing to do! Nothing except..._

"90-second Alphabet!" _Rikku exclaims. _"Starting with A!"

_This whole thing'll be '90-second alphabet style'!_

"Anyway, I told Brother that he sucks!" _Rikku says._

"But doesn't he make good chili?" _Yuna asks._

"Chili? Don't be silly! Why would he make chili?" _Rikku exclaims._

"Does he also make good stew?" _Tidus asks?_

"Eating Brother's cooking is not fun!" _Rikku chirps._

"Fryd dra ramm ec kuehk uh?" _Brother shouts._

"Go away, Brother!" _Rikku demands._

_Brother leaves._

"Hi, I wanted to see if you had any sugar cookies, Rikku." _a random boy says._

"I don't wanna give any more away!" _Rikku replies._

"Just one?" _the boy asks._

"Killed by PerfectSim?" _Wakka yells while playing Perfect Dark._

_It's a different TV... just for N64 and stuff._

"Lend me a sugar cookie, please?" _the boy asks._

"Maybe... " _Rikku says._

"Now! I want one!" _the boy demands._

"Oh no! Not with that attitude!" _Rikku scolds._

"Poopie!" _the boy whines._

"Quit whining!" _Auron says._

"Rikku... just give him one!" _Wakka demands._

"So, you want one?" _Rikku asks._

"Then, go get it!" _Jassu says as he tosses a sugar cookie into the Inn._

_The boy chases it._

"Under the sea... Under the sea... na na na na na.." _Rikku sings._

"Very stupid song." _Wakka comments._

"Why'd we get that "Little Mermaid" sphere?" _Tidus asks._

"XBox is in the back. Cid brought it." _Yuna says._

"Yuna, I checked back there. There's no XBox!" _Wakka says._

"Zanarkand was full of 'em!" _Tidus declares._

"And... that about does it! Game, Set, Match!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Well, now the TV's fixed so they're back to their bored selves... someone should screw up the TV more often..._

_**To Be Continued...**_


	11. Too Many Sugar Cookies!

_Well, everything's normal here. Wakka is surveying the Aurochs. Lulu is gone off to search for stuff for whatever. Kimahri went home. Tidus is helping Wakka. Yuna is baking a cake. Rikku is helping Yuna. Rikku's robot is bringing in a sphere..._

"ANOTHER SPHERE." _the robot says._

_Rikku gets so excited over the new sphere that she accidentely knocks over a mixing bowl._

"Rikku! Ohhh, now I'm gonna have to clean up this mess!" _Yuna says._

"Sorry! Tidus! Come clean up our mess!" _Rikku calls._

_Tidus comes in, cleans up the mess, and leaves._

"What's in the sphere?"_ Yuna asks._

_Rikku turns on the sphere._

**Four warriors are walking through a forest.**

**"This isn't the way to the Cave of No Return!"**

**"Shut up! You're gonna awaken the mighty giant of the forest!"**

**"Both of you shut up! And stop grabbing my ass, Black Mage!"**

**"Oh, our orbs are lukewarm with destiny still! Look!"**

**"Wha.. ? I like swords."**

_The sphere fades out._

"Cool! Weird warriors walking through some woods!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Rikku looks for some sugar cookies, but finds none._

"Yunie... where are the sugar cookies?" _she asks._

"You ate them all." _Yuna answers._

"Can't we buy more?" _Rikku asks._

"No, we haven't got any gil." _Yuna replies._

"Where's our millions of gil?" _Rikku asks frantically._

"Tidus used it all bribing Malboros for Wings to Discovery." _Yuna says._

"Tidus? That was you! And Wakka! Tidus hasn't learned Bribe!" _Rikku yells._

"Calm down, Rikku! I have some sugar cookies in the oven."_ Yuna says._

"Really? They gonna be done soon?" _Rikku exclaims happily._

_Meanwhile..._

"So, Vilucha... you'll be Linna's backup. She's not feeling well, ya?" _Wakka says._

"Ohhhh... I drank too much last night." _Linna moans._

"Shaami! You all right?" _Wakka asks._

"Of course! I didn't drink like that slut, Linna!" _Shaami shouts._

"Hey.. shut up..." _Linna groans._

_A load crash is heard. Keepa's blitzball has knocked over a stack of paint cans._

"Sorry!" _he says._

"Who stacked those cans anyway?" _Wakka asks._

"It was Dona and that big musclehead man!" _Tidus replies._

_Deim comes out of the temple._

"Yay! We're ready to rock! Let's kick some Goer ass! We're gonna rock! Let's go! Let's go! Kick thier fat asses!" _she exclaims._

"They're makin' sugar cookies in the temple, ya?" _Wakka whispers._

_Somehow, Rikku hears this and runs VERY fast to the temple..._

"SUGAR COOKIES!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Kulukan also comes out of the temple._

"Oh yeah! We're gonna beat those Ronso Fangs who aren't Ronso anymore so now they're just called the Fangs or something!" _she exclaims._

"Great... our sugar-high defenders..." _Wakka says._

_Vilucha walks over and slaps Deim and Kulukan._

"Owwww! Why'd you do that?" _they both cry in unison._

"You two better be ready for the big game!" _Vilucha threatens._

"But we are ready! The sugar helps us play!" _Deim exclaims._

"No! It'll wear you down faster! Now, pipe down and concentrate!" _Vilucha orders._

_Back with Yuna..._

"Wow! Another sphere!" _she exclaims._

_Yuna turns it on._

**Need protection?**

**"Then get a damn guardian.." Squall says as he gets up and leaves.**

"Where have I seen that before?" _Yuna wonders as Rikku bursts in._

"HEY! There's lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of sugar cookies at the temple!" _she exclaims loudly._

"Calm down, Rikku... you probably ate them all." _Yuna says._

"Not all of them! Deim and Kulukan had a lot too!" _Rikku counters defensively._

_Now, we interupt this program to bring you... a blitzball game._

"Make the Goers goners!" _Wakka declares._

"But we're playing the Psyches!" _Deim exclaims._

"Oh yeah... well, make the Psyches... uh... bikes? Ah, forget it, I'll be at the bar, ya?" _Wakka says._

**Shaami scores a lot (goals, not the other kind of scoring though it wouldn't be a big shock...), Deim and Kulukan knock out opponents, Shaami scores again (shake it, Shaami!), Tidus scores (a goal, not with Yuna!), Vilucha scores, Shaami scores again, more jerks put to sleep. Halftime.**

"7-0! Let's keep goin'!" _Wakka declares._

_Deim and Kulukan look sick._

"Ohh, too many... cookies..." _Deim complains._

_Kulukan pukes all over Argai Ronso._

_Argai Ronso growls like Marge Simpson._

"What? Told you so, Deim!" _Vilucha scolds._

"Shut up... urgh..." _Deim says. She pukes all over Argai Ronso as well._

_Argai Ronso leaves._

_Kulukan pukes again._

"Well, we haven't got any defense..." _Shaami says._

"We'll have to do it.." _Wakka says. _"We'll have to call them.."

"No way... not.." _Tidus says._

"Right. Biggs and Wedge." _Wakka says._

"Nooooooo!" _Tidus screams._

**Second half. Biggs and Wedge suck. They get their asses kicked wide open. They're sleeping now. Shaami scores. Vilucha scores, Tidus scores, Bickson scores (what? he's on the Psyches? Oh right.), Shaami scores. Biggs and Wedge leave. Time's up.**

"Where did Biggs and Wedge go?" _Wakka asks._

"Who know or cares?" _Tidus replies._

_Kulukan pukes all over Wakka._

"Dammit! Take these brats to bed!" _Wakka demands._

"Glady..." _Seymour says._

"What? Seymour! What are you doing here?" _Tidus declares._

"I'm helping these ladies out." _Seymour says._

"Don't go near them! They're only 15!" _Tidus threatens._

_Tidus shoves a Long Sword up Seymour's ass and kicks him out of the stadium. _

_Outside, Seymour gets trampled by a crowd of people, a herd of chocobos, a pack of machina scouts, and a shoopuf._

_Tidus gets a call from Yuna._

"Tidus! Bring some Potions back! Rikku's had too many sugar cookies! She's already puked all over a dog, a cat, a blitzball, Luzzu, Gatta, Auron, and Kimahri! Hurry!" _she says frantically._

_Tidus picks up 99 Potions and arrives in Besaid._

"Duu syho cikyn luugeac... uur! Suna cikyn luugeac! Hu! ...lyh'd ayd ed.. pid ed'c cu kuut... ! Hu.. rindc.. byeh.. kuhhy biga uh Auron ykyeh..." _Rikku says._

_Yuna hides the last sugar cookies. Rikku pukes all over Auron._

_Rikku drinks some Potions and feels much better._

"There! Now can I have more?" _Rikku asks._

"No! You'll get sick again! You gotta take a little break from them!" _Yuna orders._

"Oh, poopie! Just a little! PLEASE?" _Rikku pleads._

"NO! I'm feeding them to Valefor!" _Yuna says as she throws the last sugar cookies out the window where Valefor eats them all. Valefor immediately goes crazy and blows away half the Crusaders Lodge._

"What the hell? We paid 266253623 gil for the Lodge!" _Luzzu shouts._

"Valefor, return!" _Yuna orders._

_Valefor disappears._

"Rikku, you are going on a sugar-cookie-diet!" _Yuna demands._

"Does that mean I can eat only sugar cookies?" _Rikku asks._

"No! It means you cannot have ANY sugar cookies!" _Yuna declares._

"Oh, poopie..." _Rikku pouts._

"You too, Deim and Kulukan! You're on a sugar-cookie-diet too! Tidus told me how sick you two got!" _Yuna declares._

"Oh, poopie..." _Deim and Kulukan both pout._

**To Be Continued...**

_How is Deim pronounced.. ?_

_DAME, DIME, DEEM... ? I wonder... ?_

_I just say 'DAME'..._

_Tidus wants to use Jecht Shot 2! Shaami hogs the glory!_

"Want my autograph?" _Shaami asks._

_I want more than that! (Ooops.)_

"You got it!" _Shaami exclaims._


	12. The Stuff

_Yuna's been going crazy ever since she put Rikku on the sugar-cookie-diet! Rikku's done nothing but whine for more sugar cookies!_

"Please! PLEASE? Can I have even half of one?" _Rikku begs._

"No! You still haven't recovered!" _Yuna snaps._

_Brother walks in eating a sugar cookies. He taunts Rikku._

"Oui fyhd ed? Oui fyhd ed? Ha ha ha ha ha! Oui lyh'd ryja ed! Cilgc du pa oui!" _he taunts._

"Cdub ed! Cdub ed!" _Rikku cries._

_Brother leaves before Tidus comes back to kick his ass again._

_Speaking of which..._

_Tidus and Wakka are in what's left of the Crusader's Lodge playing on their Sphere Grids._

"Ha! I jumped ya!" _Wakka exclaims._

"Stupid... now you're gonna learn Power Break first!" _Tidus complains._

"Whose idea was it to come into Auron's grid anyway?" _Wakka asks._

"Auron's. He wants us to learn his skills so we don't have to rely on him all the time. He's getting sick of it." _Tidus explains._

"At least you learned Armor Break first!" _Wakka declares._

_Back with Yuna.._

"Rikku! Stop it! You're not getting any more!" _Yuna shouts._

"Fine! Then I'll go find another thing to get addicted to!" _Rikku yells as she storms out._

_Rikku pulls out her Sphere Grid and learns Bribe. She finds Bickson._

"You! Get outta here!" _he yells._

"No! I want some this time! I want some of.. the stuff." _Rikku says as she offers 19202 gil._

"Oh! All right!" _Bickson hands over 'the stuff'._

_Yuna sees this. As soon as Rikku leaves, she grabs Bickson._

"What did you give her?" _she screams._

"What.. ? None of your business!" _Bickson picks Yuna up and throws her to the side. He then makes his escape._

"OW! THAT HURT!" _Yuna screams._

_Yuna finds Rikku._

"What did you get from Bickson? TELL ME!" _Yuna yells._

"Yunie.. ! All I got was THIS!" _Rikku shows Yuna a bag of Oreos._ "I got a new kind of cookie! And they're great with milk!"

"Oreos.. ? Wait a second." _Yuna says. She pulls out a medical book of some sort and reads. _"Hey, Oreos don't make you sick! They're not like those sugar cookies! Cool! You can keep them, Rikku."

"Really? YAY! Time to get another sugar-high! OREOS AND MILK! Want some, Yunie?" _Rikku says excitedly._

"Sure!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Yuna and Rikku go on an Oreo Sugar-High and bother the hell out of Auron. Lulu, Tidus, and Wakka. Except Tidus and Wakka join them so they go bug Kimahri and Cid. Rikku taunts Brother._

"E kud sa cusa Oreos! Oui lyh'd ryja yho! Oui lyh'd ryja yho!" _she taunts._

"CU? E kud cikyn luugeac! Cu drana! Ugh... Fryd ec drec? Cbuemat cikyn luugeac? Hu! Rikku! Hu vyen!" _Brother yells._

"We got the old Rikku back!" _Yuna exclaims._

"Yay! Oreos!" _Rikku yells cheerfully._

_Deim and Kulukan have heard of the new Oreos in Besaid and now Bickson is out of business. _

"Dammit! I gotta go make more!" _Bickson yells._

"Dude, you don't make Oreos, you idiot! You just buy them at Bevelle's Item Shop." _Graav says._

"Shut up.. !" _Bickson threatens._

**To Be Continued...**

_**Oreos... Rikku loves Oreos now. Well, she's not getting sick!**_

_**Oh yeah, Cid's outta milk!**_

_**Dammit!**_


	13. Special Oreos?

_Hey, look! The Crusader's Lodge has been rebuilt! Who did it?_

"All right! It's finished! You're dismissed, Yojimbo!" _Yuna says._

"Where's my fuggin' money?" _the Aeon demands._

"I ain't got no money..." _Yuna says._

"Yuna! Where'd you learn to talk like that?" _Lulu asks._

"Shut up, ho! I ain't gotta listen to you!" _Yuna shouts._

"Where _did_ she learn that?" _Tidus asks._

"...what? What did I say?" _Yuna asks, confused._

_Rikku barges in._

"Yunie! Did ya like those 'special' Oreos that I made?" _she exclaims._

"Rikku! Not so loud! They'll hear you! ...and yes, but the effect has worn off." _Yuna says._

"Effect? 'Special' Oreos.. ?" _Tidus asks._

"Oopsie... I mean, you didn't hear that!" _Rikku says nervously._

"What did you put in those 'special' Oreos?" _Lulu asks._

"HELLO? I ain't got my fuggin' money yet!" _Yojimbo shouts._

_Yuna dismisses Yojimbo, making him hate her more._

"...umm, there's no way outta this is there.. ? ...fine. I found this weird 'Loco Weed' in some bag that a guy with spiky hair dropped in the desert. I wanted to return it, but I decided to try an experiment.." _Rikku explains._

"What kind of an experiment?" _Lulu asks._

_Rikku is nervous._

"...uh, I mixed it into some Oreos.." _she whispers._

"That explains it.." _Lulu says. _"That's why Yuna was talking funny."

"She was high off Loco Weed." _Tidus says._

_Yuna starts crying. So does Rikku._

"We just wanted to try it out.. ! I'll... destroy the rest." _Rikku says._

_Rikku goes to the desert with the Loco Weed. She throws it into the Sandragora pit. As she leaves, the Sandragora gobbles up the Loco Weed and goes insane! It wipes out the Cactuars and kills a few Sand Worms. A few Al Bhed see this..._

"Sandragora! Ed'c kuehk ehcyha! Cusauha cruud ed!" _one of them yells._

_A group of Al Bhed use Flamethrowers to try and destroy it. This only make it angrier and more insane. Suddenly, Wakka appears with a TKO ball._

"Booya!" _he yells._

_The Sandragora turn to stone and shatters. Wakka does his victory pose._

_Back at Besaid..._

"WHERE'S MY GIL YOU BITCH?" _Yojimbo screams while hitting Yuna._

"Oww! Owww! Tidus, make him stop!" _Yuna cries._

"He's your Aeon... uhh, I think I hear Auron calling me!" _Tidus says._

_Tidus escapes._

_Yojimbo continues hitting Yuna._

"OWWWW! HELP!" _Yuna cries._

"WHERE'S MY FUGGIN' GIL? GIMME MY GODDAMN GIL OR I'LL ZANMATO _YOU!_" _Yojimbo screams as he pulls out his Zanmato..._

"No! Please!" _Yuna cries._

"WAIT... I mean, wait... I'll **see you in court, bitch!" **_Yojimbo declares._

_Suddenly, everyone is in a courtroom. Lulu is trying to cure Yuna's bruises.. wait! Lulu? Using Cura? Sure... oh well, better than Kimahri!_

"I suck at White Magic.. how do you do this, Yuna?" _Lulu asks._

"I can't wait anymore!" _Yuna whines as she casts Curaga._

_Judge Judy walks in._

"So who's the bitch who wants Lady Yuna to pay up?" _Judge Judy asks._

"I am! Wait! I ain't no bitch! Die!" _Yojimbo screams as he prepares to Zanmato Judge Judy._

"Watch it!" _Judge Judy threatens as she grabs Zanmato and slices Yojimbo in half._

_Squall runs in._

"Oh my God! Judge Judy is Seifer?" _Squall yells._

_Squall runs out._

"Well, since Yojimbo died, I grant Lady Yuna free of his wrath forever!" _Judge Judy declares._

_Judge Judy exits._

"Yay! No more hurties from Yojimbo!" _Yuna exclaims._

"You hang around with Rikku too much..." _Lulu says._

"I'll be hangin' with her a lot more in **two years**!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Speaking of Rikku..._

_Back at Besaid, Rikku is playing (what?) Agent Under Fire on the (hey?) GameCube! _

"Take that, jerk!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Those bots are nothing with one-shot kills and rocket launchers."_ Tidus says._

"Rocket Launchers? I'm there!" _Rikku shouts._

_Selphie runs in._

"Whoo hoo! I wanna play too! Rocket launchers! Booyaka!" _she yells._

"BOOYAKA!" _Rikku and Selphie exclaim together._

**To Be Continued..**

**...I really do hate Yojimbo. However, he works well in the monster arena, but can never get the Bastard (_the name I gave him_) to use Zanmato! I prefer Anima, the best Aeon! Magus Sisters rock too, but they're too random for me... My Anima has over 19000 HP!**


	14. The Master Sword?

_Rikku and Yuna are playing on ther Sphere Grids. _

"Yay! I got ahead of you! I'm gonna get Fira first!" _Rikku teased as she grabbed another Oreo._

"Uh, Rikku... ? Remember? I learned all of Lulu's magic long ago?" _Yuna reminded._

"...oh yeah.." _Rikku whispered._

_Tidus has made a new sword!_

"All four Strength bonuses added! Behold, the Master Sword!" _Tidus declares._

_Suddenly, Ganondorf runs in._

"WHAT? The Master Sword?" _he shouts._

"Ugh, he's ugly!" _Rikku exclaims._

"What? You dare insult the King of Evil?" _Ganondorf yells._

_He blasts Rikku with a dark ball of energy._

"Rikku!" _Yuna cries as she readies a Cura._

_Ganondorf starts ripping stuff up._

"Noo! He got into my cookie stash!" _Deim cries._

"Mine too!" _Kulukan exclaims._

_Ganondorf is now throwing Oreos around._

"Take that!" _he shouts._

_Yuna summons an Aeon... nothing happens.. ?_

_Wait..._

"What? Where's my Aeon?" _Yuna wonders._

_Nothing..._

"Dude, where's my Aeon?" _Yuna asks._

_Suddenly, a giant yellow mouse appears._

"PIKACHU!"

"Pikachu.. ?" _Yuna whispers._

"What Fayth is that?" _Lulu asks._

_Pikachu picks Ganondorf up and tosses him out of the village. Then, it summons Thundaga and sends Ganondorf flying Smash Bros. style._

"Wow! A new Aeon!" _Yuna exclaims as she dismisses Pikachu._

_Yuna and Rikku do a small study session about Pikachu..._

"Wow! It's Fayth is someone named Ash Ketchum!" _Rikku exclaims._

"It's Overdrive is Thunderbolt!" _Yuna says._

"Tidus IS Link, ya?" _Wakka says._

"Who's Link?" _Rikku asks._

"He's the guy that just arrived. He's lookin' for this other guy, Ganondorf, ya?" _Wakka explains._

"He's got a Master Sword!" _Deim exclaims as she barges in._

"Link's got a Master Sword, too!" _Kulukan shouts._

"Let's get his autograph!" _Deim suggests._

"Yeah! Let's go!" _Kulukan agrees._

_They run off looking for Link._

_Link is fighting against Ganondorf in the Zanarkand Ruins._

"Urggh... where'd you get that power?" _Ganondorf shouts._

_Link shows the Master Sword... wait! It's not his own!_

"Hey! Link! I think our swords got switched!" _Tidus says as he comes running up._

_They exchange swords and send Ganondorf flying back to Hyrule._

_Link gives Tidus 50 Power Spheres and plays a song on his Ocarina. He disappears when the song is done._

_Tidus puts the Master Sword in a small stone in the Kilika Woods. _

_Yuna plays an Ocarina that's oddly like Link's._

_Rikku creates a Hookshot machina._

_Wakka creates the BlitzBomb._

_Kimahri finds 'the triforce', but it is really just a few triangle-shaped rocks._

_Well, Rikku's gotta go buy more Oreos! So long!_

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**...this is fuggin' LONG! Damn!**_

**_"Will it get longer?" _Rikku asks.**

_**Of course!**_

**_"YAY! More Oreos!" _Rikku exclaims.**


	15. Yuna's Cookies

_What's going on? Brother has brought an army of Al Bhed into Besaid and he's taken over the Temple?_

_Rikku enters the temple and confronts Brother._

"Fryd yna oui drehgehk?" _she asks angrily._

"Drec temple ec kuehk du pa uin pyca! Huf kad ouin cunno pidd uiddy rana un E's dammehk vydran!" _Brother counters._

"Hu! _E's_ dammehk vydran ypuid ouin cdibet 'pyca bmyh'! Fryd yna oui kuhhy tu? Palusa dra maytan uv Besaid?" _Rikku shouts._

"Veha! Pid oui'mm hud pa naylrehk dra airship cu aycemo! Oui'mm ryja du payd drec fiend vencd!" _Brother yells back as he pushes a button on a remote._

_A door opens and reveals a Master Tonberry._

"Dryd drehk'c ayco!" _Rikku exclaims as she gets Godhand out and whips the Tonberry's ass._

"Esbuccepma! Vydran mad oui ryja dra vysuic Godhand? Hu! Ymm nekrd! Oui feh! Pid E crymm nadinh! ...ur, yht E's dygehk dra Oreos fedr sa!" _Brother shouts._

_Brother makes his escape._

_Meanwhile..._

_Yuna is baking cookies... while Tidus and Wakka are doing the blitzball roster._

"Left Forward!" _Tidus calls._

_Linna stands up._

"Right Forward!" _Wakka calls._

_Shaami stands up._

"I'm the Midfielder!" _Tidus declares._

"Brother's no longer on the team after that stunt he pulled at the Temple!" _Wakka says._

"Yeah! And he took the Oreos with him!" _Rikku whines._

"Cookies are done!" _Yuna calls._

"Cookies! Cool! They're Oreos?" _Rikku exclaims._

"Yes! I call them 'Yuneos'!" _Yuna announces proudly._

"..and the right and left Defense are Deim and Kulukan.. looks like they're already at the cookies, anyway..." _Tidus says._

"Oh yeah, Keepa's gone! We got Miyu as our Goalie!" _Wakka declares._

"Yeah, she's a hard worker. Not hyper like Deim and Kulukan!" _Tidus comments._

"Where did Keepa go anyway?" _Tidus asks._

_Meanwhile..._

_Keepa is digging in the desert. What he's digging for, no one knows. Seymour walks by._

"Fool. You delude yourself." _Seymour says._

_Keepa gets vaporized by Seymour._

"Oh my God! He killed Keepa!" _Stan yells_

"You bastard!" _Kyle shouts._

_Back with Yuna..._

"More cookies!" _Rikku, Deim, and Kulukan all shout in chorus._

"More coming!" _Yuna declares._

"Hey! I got an idea! Let's dial random phone numbers!" _Deim exclaims._

"OKAY!" _Rikku shouts._

_Rikku dials a number by the letters, NOT the numbers._

"M... I...T... S...U...R...U...G...I! There! Hey! It's ringing!" _she exclaims._

"Hello?" _someone says._

"Who's this?" _Rikku asks._

"The name's Mitsurugi! Remember it!" _the other person says._

"Okay... I will... but why?" _Rikku asks._

"No one will take Soul Edge from me!" _Mitsurugi says._

"What's Soul Edge?" _Rikku wonders._

"Don't make me laugh!" _Mitsurugi shouts._

"What? You wanna fight?" _Rikku threatens._

"Fine! I accept your challenge!" _Mitsurugi declares._

"Ahh! No! No! I don't wanna fight someone I don't know!" _Rikku shouts._

"You'll be in hell... before me." _Mitsurugi threatens._

"Ahh! Uh, I think.. someone's on the other line! Bye!" _Rikku exclaims nervously._

"Uwaaaaaggggghhh!" _Mitsurugi yells as Rikku hangs up._

"Oooh! I got a number!" _Deim exclaims as she dials another number._

"Cid's Tavern." _Cid says._

"Is there a Mr. Butz there? First name, Seymour?" _Deim asks._

"Hold on... hey, everyone! I wanna Seymour Butz!" _Cid shouts._

_Everyone laughs._

"Wait a minute... when I catch you, I'm gonna throw you in the cargo hold with the drunken Al Bhed Psyches!" _Cid shouts as he hangs up._

_Oddly, sitting in a far corner of Cid's Tavern where both Seymour AND Butz._

"Dude, I think we've been insulted or something." _Butz says. _"Wait! I'm not Butz! I'm BARTZ!"

"Eh, go to hell." _Seymour says... and fries Bartz with Thundara._

_Back in Besaid... the three girls have fallen asleep!_

"Aw, look.. the sugar must've worn off." _Yuna says._

"Let's let 'em sleep, ya? Deim and Kulukan need thier rest for the upcoming game against the Luca Goers, ya?" _Wakka says._

_Well, Brother's gone but his army is still in the Temple. Can Rikku eventually get them out? Will she get her Oreos back? Or is she happy with 'Yuneos'? _

_**To Be Continued...**_


	16. Yuneos and Sphere Renting

_Tidus has a Blitzball Update!_

"Linna has left the team to make room for Kiyuri. We have rescued Kiyuri from the crazy Guado Pedophiles... I mean, Glories. And... Miyu has been replaced by the Al Bhed's Nimrook." _Tidus declares._

"Oayr! E nulg! Fro't dra Psyches vena sa du dyga Nizarut?" _Nimrook says._

"Hey, I saw Keepa playin' for the Beasts, ya?" _Wakka says._

_Meanwhile, at Yuna's house..._

"Kiyuri, try some cookies." _Yuna offers._

"Yay! Yummy!" _Kiyuri exclaims._

_Kiyuri cheerfully starts eating Yuneos._

"I guess we can let Brother on the team again... he hasn't attacked us lately." _Tidus says._

"Hey! I have an idea!" _Rikku exclaims as she bursts in._

"What? What?" _Yuna asks._

"Let's rent more movie spheres from Luca!" _Rikku suggests._

"Okay!" _Yuna agrees._

_Yuna, Rikku, and Kiyuri go to Luca Theatre._

"Okay! Let's see.." _Yuna says._

_Yuna finds "Escape from the Pedophiles", The Drunken Ronso", and "A Bevelle Wedding"._

"Nothing.. hey! 'A Bevelle Wedding'? That's me! And there's Tidus! And Auron!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Yuna rents "A Bevelle Wedding"._

_Rikku finds "When Shoopufs Attack", "Vihheacd Susahdc uv Home", and "When Pedophiles Attack Certain Desert Bases"._

"Hey... " _Rikku says softly as she stares at 'Vihheacd Susahdc uv Home'. _"I gotta get this... for the memories...

_Rikku rents "Vihheacd Susahdc uv Home"._

_Kiyuri just runs around hyperactively._

"We have to make a stop at the Calm Lands. Cid has to pick up some beer from Naida."_ Yuna says._

_They land at the Calm Lands. Suddenly, Tidus comes flying out of the Monster Arena. Wakka and Auron calmly step out._

"You'll pay for that, Big Black Bird!" _Tidus yells._

_Yuna summons Anima and it disintegrates the Big Black Bird._

"It's time to go.." _Yuna says._

_They go back to Besaid._

"Let's watch 'A Bevelle Wedding'!" _Yuna exclaims._

"You already know what's gonna happen! You're in it! We're all in it!" _Rikku says._

_They watch "A Bevelle Wedding" just because it's Yuna's house._

"Ooh, I feel like punching Seymour now!" _Yuna says._

_Seymour walks by. Yuna punches him. Seymour disappears._

_They watch Rikku's sphere... 'Vihheacd Susahdc uv Home'._

**Scene 1:**

**Brother gets pounded over and over again by a bltizball. He was trying out for the Psyches, but failed.**

**Scene 2: **

**Keyakku (Rikku's friend) shoots a Sahagin causing it explode violently.**

**"Fuf! Draca haf pimmadc yna cfaad!" _Keyakku exclaims._**

"Keyakku..." _Rikku says sadly._

**Scene 3: **

**Someone gets into Cid's beer supply and causes Cid to chase him around Home while swearing in Al Bhed.**

**Scene 4:**

**Brother gets pummeled by the Psyches. Looks like he's been stealing booze from them.**

"I recorded that one!" _Rikku exclaims._

**Scene 5: **

**The Guado lose _badly_ to the Psyches (15-0) which causes them to throw rotten tomatoes and broken beer bottles at the Psyches.**

_**End of Sphere due to technical difficulties from the Guado.**_

"That last one was from after Home was destroyed." _Rikku says._

"They wanted revenge against the Guado, so they got it in blitzball." _Yuna says._

"Well, I'm going to make some more cookies." _Yuna says._

"Yay! Cookies!" _Kiyuri exclaims._

_**To Be Continued...**_


	17. Stuff Happens at the Calm Lands

_One momemt please..._

_Kiyuri's been sadly released... _

"But Larbeight's back!" _Deim exclaims happily._

_Yeah, what she said..._

"Who's talking? Yu Yevon?" _Tidus asks._

_Crid ib. Oui drehg oui'na cu pek fedr ouin Excalibur yht ciban caqo Summoner Yuna! _

"What?" _Tidus asks._

_Tidus goes and slays the giant black bird at the Monster Arena._

_Wakka, Rikku, and Yuna waste the Chimerageist._

"Oui beala uv lnyb Earth Eater! Fro yna oui cu vycd yht ymfyoc luihdanehk ajano tysh drehk fa tu?" _Rikku shouts angrily._

"Hey! I have no idea what you said, but lay off the Earth Eater for once! Go make fun of One-Eye of Jumbo Flan!" _the Arena Owner yells._

"Okay! Jumbo Flan is fat and it smells like moldy jello and it..." _Rikku shouts as Jumbo steals her cookies. _"...and it... stole my cookies! My Yuneos! Oui cdibet pek pimmo!"

_Rikku mixes 2 Dark Matters, 2 Shining Gems, a copy of Soul Calibur II, and some of Keepa's 'stash' and creates the Ultimate Attack: **Big-Ass Explosion That's Sure To Kill Anything**! Sure enough, it deals 12,0000,000 damage to Jumbo Flan and causes it to explode! Most of the ooze lands on Yuna!_

"Ewww! I got Flan goo all over me!" _Yuna shouts as she frantically runs around. She finally stops to puke all over a blitzball._

"Aw, that was my new blitzball!" _some random kid yells._

_Tidus runs up and kicks the ball away and gives the kid a signed ball._

"Wow, thanks!" _the kid exclaims and runs off._

"Tidus has been signing blitzballs a lot lately.." _Lulu says._

"Hey! Where are Auron and Kimahri?" _Wakka asks._

_Meanwhile..._

_Auron and Kimahri get thrown out of the arena by Don Tonberry!_

"I see them! They're trying to defeat Don Tonberry!" _Rikku shouts._

"Good luck..." _Tidus says._

_Tidus goes to win the Caladbolg, but the Chocobo runs away in fear of getting hit with more balls and birds._

"Ah, just take the damn thing!" _the man guarding the Caladbolg says._

_Tidus takes the Caladbolg, then goes for the Sun Sigil. _

"Just take it! You've scared my Chocobos enough!" _the lady demands._

_Tidus goes and gets the Sun Crest and powers up Caladbolg._

"Yeah!" _Tidus declares._

_Meanwhile..._

_Deim and Kulukan (and Rikku) have found the extra Yuneos._

_Kimahri gets stoned by an Anacondaur. Or is it 'with' an Anaconduar?_

_Auron met a man named Daravon and swiped off his head as a result of listening to too much crap like "Ability is a skill learned from job training."_

_The Guado plot more pedophiliac schemes._

_The Ronso get stoned. Not like Kimahri, the other 'stoned'._

_The Luca Goers get kicked out of the Luca bar. Namely, Bickson._

_Well, that's all..._

_**To be Continued...**_


	18. Yevon's Pro Skater?

_Wow! Look at that!_

"What?" _Tidus asks._

_Shut up. Anyway, look over there! Rikku's doing some crazy stuff!_

"It's the new skateboard we got her. She's _obsessed_ with it!" _Yuna says._

_Rikku does a 360 Varial McTwist followed by an Indy 900, then she finishes with a Crooks Darkslide grind on the rail outside the temple._

"Score!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Wakka tries to pull off some stuff, but he ends up in the water._

_Kimahri follows soon after._

"You losers couldn't skate your way outta a paper bag!" _Rikku taunts._

"She's right, ya?" We suck." _Wakka says._

"I can kick your ass! I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!" _Eric Sparrow shouts, not to far from where Wakka is._

"Hey! Cid found a new area! He says it's called 'Hotter Than Sin'!" _Tidus declares._

_They go to this 'Hotter Than Sin' place. When they arrive, there is a bunch of people pulling off various tricks._

"Look! Someone did The Jackass!" _Rikku exclaims._

"That 'someone' is Seymour!" _Yuna shouts._

_Seymour pulls off another Jackass and then grinds his way into a dirt pile._

"What did he grind on?" _Tidus wonders._

_Rikku finds a bunch of wires running to and from a large castle structure. _

"Wires coming from that castle thing... it's got the Yevon symbol." _Rikku says._

_Deim whizzes past while doing a Manual + Handstand._

"I can do it! Yay!" _she exclaims._

_She then crashes into a truck._

_Another truck drives past... with Kulukan skitchin' it!_

"Kad dra vilg uvv so dnilg, oui pedlr!" _the driver shouts._

_Suddenly the truck stops, sending Kulukan flying over it into a haystack._

"Well, looks like Yevon's holding a Skate Contest in there. Why don't you enter, Rikku?" _Yuna suggests._

"Good idea! I'll do it! I'll win!" _Rikku exclaims._

_They enter the castle. Rikku signs up for the contest._

_**Yevon Skate Contest:**_

_**Rikku**_

_**Deim**_

_**Kulukan**_

_**Shaami**_

_**Linna**_

_**Eric Sparrow**_

"Good luck to all of you, and praise be to Yevon!" _Seymour says, as he does the Yevon prayer._

_The contest begins. Rikku starts off with a quick Manual down a slope then she performs a lip trick followed by an Indy 900. Deim does her Manual Handstand, while sometimes performing a McTwist. Kulukan has nothing to skitch, so she does kickflips and benihanas off some huge jumps. She gets knocked out early due to lowest score. Shaami grinds around the outside of the contest area. Linna mostly does lip tricks and manuals. Eric skates around swearing at everyone._

_**Eric gets thrown out, while yelling 'I can kick your ass!'**_

_Shaami is knocked out due to last place, followed by Deim. Now it's just Rikku and Linna._

"Oui yeh'd kuhhy feh!" _Linna taunts._

"Fa'mm caa ypuid dryd!" _Rikku counters._

_They skate circles around each other, doing manuals and handstands. Rikku even does a pogo and hops around in small circles. Then she jumps up and makes her skateboard fly and knock Seymour out cold. _

_**Rikku has won the Yevon Skate Contest!**_

"Well? What do I win?" _Rikku asks impatiently._

"Hold on, hold on! I'm getting to that part! Now, since you got the highest score _and_ knocked out Seymour, I am rewarding you with 12,000,000 gil and 150 Free Coupons for Oreos." _Rin declares._

"OREOS? YAY! MORE OREOS!" _Rikku exclaims._

"What about Yuneos... ?" _Yuna asks sadly._

"Oh, I love them too!" _Rikku exclaims happily._

"Rikku ec dra cysa mujypma Rikku..." _Rin says as he walks away._

"Rikku ec dra cysa robanyldeja Rikku..." _Cid says as he exits._

_Cid and Rin run back in._

"Mujypma, robanyldeja Oreo-lnywo Rikku!" _they both shout before they make their exit again._

_**To Be Continued...**_

**What will Rikku do next... ?**


	19. Jecht Sphere 11 and a new machina!

_While out skateboarding, Rikku found something VERY interesting... an eleventh Jecht Sphere! She quickly runs into Besaid!_

"Owww! Stupid village!" _Rikku whines as she enters Besaid._

_She shows the Jecht Sphere._

**Macalania Lake... _Suteki de Ne (or whatever) is playing (?)... _**

"Aww, such sweet music..." _Rikku says._

**Braska, Auron, and Jecht jump into the lake and... **

**...the sphere fades out. It fades back in with them looking _very_ pleased...**

"Is it me or did something **really** nasty happen?" _Rikku asks._

"It's not you... good thing Auron's not here." _Tidus says._

_Suddenly, Auron runs in and destroys the Jecht Sphere._

"No time to waste. Let's go." _he says while leaving._

"Aww.. I wanted to show Father..." _Rikku says sadly._

_Suddenly, Auron's jug flies in and nearly hits her in the head._

"Hey!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Hey, cool! Booze!" _Keepa says._

_Keepa picks up the jug and starts drinking._

"Oh! It's time for the Spira News!" _Yuna realizes as she turns on the sphere screen._

_A man who looks **a lot like Kent Brockman** comes on._

_**"In Blitzball News... Al Bhed Psyches have gotten their Goalkeeper, Nimrook, back from the Besaid Aurochs. The Aurochs seem to be reassembling their old teammates. Could this be because Wakka has acquired the legendary "Aurochs Spirit"? No, that move can't exist! Or can it... ?"**_

_Offstage, someone yells... "YOU can it, dickbastard!" _

_The news man throws a blitzball at him._

_**"In Luca News... Shaami was caught shoplifting 'accidentally'. She claims she had no idea how that dress ended up crammed into her purse, but Biggs and Wedge know better. (What a surprise! They actually KNOW something!) Now, here's Rin with the Al Bhed Report."**_

_Rin comes on and starts dancing. Someone throws a blitzball at him. It hits his "blitzballs"._

_"Rumo vnelgeh' zihg! Yo lynispy, oui muico telgpycdyntc!" he shouts as he makes his escape._

_Nimrook comes on to fill in for Rin._

_**"Eh Al Bhed News, y socdaneuic machina thief ryc paah chaygehk ynuiht dra niehc uv Home mydamo. Dra thief ryc cdumah uin bnaleuic Crawler XIII! Ur, yht ev Rikku fuimt lusa pylg, fa fuimt pa knaydmo bmaycat yc ed fuimt ramb ic veht drec tyshat ehvanhym telgpycdynt cu fa lyh neb rec mihkc uid (hu uvvahca, Locke Cole) yht fruajan ehdanvanac femm kad drec machina crujat ib draen ycc cu vyn drao'mm palusa dra haqd Sin!"**_

"Ooh, gotta go!" _Rikku declares._

_She grabs some Yuneos and leaves._

"I don't like the smell o' this one, eh?" _Wakka says._

_Rikku comes back, grabs 'Godhand' and leaves again._

"THAT's why she's been making so much gil!" _Tidus realizes._

"Yeah! If only the Aurochs had money like that, ya!coughBASIKRONSOcough!" _Wakka says._

"That's why we had to fire Linna." _Tidus says._

_Linna is back at Macalania Temple..._

"Tysh ed ymm! Ev uhmo E ryt tnaccat fynsan! Hud drec nadyntat kadib! Tysh ed ymm! Tysh ed! Tysh ed! Tysh ed! Telgpycdyntc!" _she shouts._

_Inside Sin, Yu Yevon is having a heart attack from all the swearing he had just heard..._

_Rikku returns with a new machina. _

"Hi! Father gave me this for being a good girl! It's a **SpyCam Machina**! With it, I can spy on any place in Spira!" _she explains._

"Great! Spy on Kilika!" _Tidus declares._

_Rikku types in "KILIKA"._

_**Deim is baking cookies. Kulukan is anxiously awaiting the cookies. Deim burns the cookies and starts crying. Larbeight tries to comfort her, but gets kicked out for trying to get her into bed. Isken gets kicked out of the tavern for drinking right from the tap (like Barney). Speaking of which, Barney walks into the tavern. Homer promptly joins him. They soon get expelled for the same reason as Isken.**_

"Now try Luca!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Rikku types in "LUCA"._

_**Bickson, Abus, and Raudy are drinking. Doram has a bit too much and is trying to seduce Graav. Graav is a moron and has no idea what sex is. Doram gets fed up and kicks him him the "blitzballs". Balgerda is passed out in front of the stadium where Wedge picks her up and throws her in jail. Biggs is gone... where could he be.. ?**_

"How about Djose?" _Lulu suggests._

_Rikku inputs "DJOSE"._

**_Nothing much... the 'Blitz Fan'_ is still trying to do the Jecht Shot. Also, Mr. Burns walks in and buys the temple. He sets up the Spira Nuclear Power Plant.**

**"Excellent..." _he says._**

"Cool, we got a power plant. Try... Zanarkand." _Tidus suggests._

_Rikku inputs "ZANARKAND"._

_**Kimahri is seen chasing monkeys around. He catches one and eats it. He chases more monkeys around. **_

"Eww, gross!" _Rikku exclaims as she shuts off the machina before Kimahri eats another monkey._

"Rikku! Vydran cyoc ed'c desa vun pat!" _Brother says._

_Rikku looks sad._

"Ur, buubea! Damm res dryd E's hud denat yht E's hud y meddma kenm!" _she complains._

"Rikku! Tuh'd lusbmyeh un oui kad drec!" _Brother counters._

"Kad fryd? Oui dymg cdibet, telgpymmc!" _Rikku insults._

"Ouin bnaleuic Yuneos yht Pepsi yna caymat!" _Brother retorts._

"E kud dra cookies vnus Yuna! Yuna pygac kuut! E naymmo mega dras! Cra pygac kuut!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Oui tu drec ymuha, cecdan!" _Brother retorts as he leaves._

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**The 'Blitz Fan' is really in Djose Temple! You scout him like normal, but he's only a fan. Also, he looks like Mep.**_


	20. Whole Stole The Machina?

_Rikku has arrived at Home. Indeed, someone has stolen the 'Crawler XIII'! _

"Fru luimt ryja tuha drec?" _Rikku asks._

"E ryja raynt nisunc uv dra thief paehk y Guado. Drec lyhhud pa luhvensat." _a guard explains._

_Rikku enters the shed some Al Bhed have put up as shelter. Something's wrong in there. A mysterious man has appeared. Brother is questioning this man._

"Fru yna oui? Fro ryja oui lusa rana yht tet oui cdaym uin bnaleuic Crawler XIII? Dymg! Dymg un E femm cruud!" _Brother shouts._

"Wait.. !" _the man says._

_Too late. Brother shoots the man dead._

"Brother! Tuh'd pa cu rycdo! E luimt ryja naycuhat fedr res yht kud cusa lmiac! Oui pek pimmo! kad uid uv rana un E femm damm Vydran!" _Rikku scolds._

_Brother hurries outside. _

_In Besaid..._

"I wonder how Rikku's doing.." _Yuna says._

"She's probably having a blast looking that Crawler thing.." _Tidus replies._

"Hey, she left her SpyCam. Let's watch it!" _Yuna exclaims._

"You don't know how!" _Tidus declares._

"I do too! Rikku showed me! Just put in a location and watch!" _Yuna says._

_Yuna types in "LUCA"._

_**The Ronso Fangs are drinking. Bickson is pissed off because he was just released for Nedus.**_

_**"Nedus? That drunken fool who can't hardly swim! He says he'll get better, but WHEN? I'm better than that jackass!" Bickson complains.**_

_**A Guado is seen running into the stadium.**_

_**"Ow! Stupid stadium!" he yells as he enters the stadium.**_

_**"You got it?" someone asks.**_

_**"Yes. Crawler XIII, right?" the Guado says.**_

_**"Yes, now go. Don't let anyone know of this!" the mystery man says.**_

_**"Yes sir!" the Guado declares. He receives 10000 gil and leaves.**_

"Oh no! A Guado stole the Crawler XIII! We have to tell Rikku!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Yuna inputs "HOME"._

_**BAD SIGNAL. NOT FOUND.**_

"Oh no.." _Yuna whines._

_Back at Home..._

"Fa ryja hud oad vuiht yhodrehk, Vydran! Ymm fa ryja ec lmiac uv dra thief paehk y Guado! Ur, yht E vunkud so SpyCam eh Besaid!" _Rikku says into her cell phone._

_Cid arrives in a helicopter._

"Ymm ihedc du Luca! Fa ryja nalaejat nabundc uv y Guado dygehk dra Crawler XIII du dra Stadium! Cu, rayt du Luca yd uhla!" _he commands._

_They go to Luca._

"Oh wow! Lots of action! Could any of you take a quick interview? Please?" _Shaami pleads._

"Piww uvv, pedlr! Fa kuddy kad pylg uin machina! Cu, uiddy uin fyo!" _one of them shouts._

"I don't what you said.. but it didn't sound nice!" _Shaami whines. She starts crying._

_Nedus **slowly** approaches her._

"Shaami.. drao yna zangc. Tu hud mecdah du dras. E'mm keja oui yh ehdanjeaf. Zicd mad sa kad y rudam nuus vun ic vencd, ev oui ghuf fryd E sayh!"

"...what?" _Shaami asks._

"...Shaami... I want... you... me... get a hotel... room. There?" _Nedus says slowly._

"H..hotel room.. ? But... but why? ..oh! I.. don't think so, Nedus. I can't! Father would never forgive me! I'm sorry." _Shaami says nervously._

"Oh... ed ec y crysa." _Nedus says as he **slowly** walks away._

_The Al Bhed find 'Crawler XIII'._

"Yd mycd, fa ryja vuiht ed! Huf fa lyh luhdehia uin bmyh du syga Cherry Cheesecake vun ymm dra baubma uv Spira! Rikku! Oui fyhd du pa dra vencd du ryja uin Cherry Cheesecake?" _Brother declares._

"Tu E ajan! Pnehk ed uh! PNEHK ED UH!" _Rikku shouts happily._

_They haul the Crawler XIII back to Home._

_Rikku goes back to Besaid._

"...and they'll send us some Cherry Cheesecake! I can't wait!" _Rikku exclaims._

"But... what about 'Yuna Cheesecake'?" _Yuna asks sadly._

"You didn't make any cheesecake..." _Rikku says._

"Oh, right... sorry." _Yuna whispers._

_**Well, Rikku's going to wait for the Cheesecake now. So, later!**_

_**TBC...**_


	21. Yuna's Little Accident

_Rikku loves the cheesecake! Now Yuna is trying her best to make more! But, something happened... something odd._

"Where's Yunie?" _Rikku asks._

"I don't know." _Tidus answers._

"Wonder if we should wait for her..." _Rikku says._

"Wonder if we should **search** for her, ya?" _Wakka suggests._

_They search Besaid for Yuna until they come to the Temple. Inside, they find a doll... a doll looks like Yuna! Odd._

"Weird.. this doll looks like Yuna!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Let's take it to Lu." _Wakka suggests._

_Rikku takes the doll to Lulu's house while Wakka goes and checks on the new Aurochs. They have a new player._

"I came here 'cause I quit the Goers! Bickson is gay! I loved him but he turned out to be gay!" _Doram shouts._

"Of course he's gay! Just listen to his voice!" _Jassu exclaims._

_Bickson appears._

"I heard that! Fine! I hate you all!" _Bickson screams in his gay voice._

_Bickson spots Graav and skips off with him._

"Praise be to Yevon I'm not gay!" _Abus says._

_Back with the Yuna doll..._

"Strange. Why would it resemble Yuna?" _Lulu wonders._

_Squeak._

"What was that?" _Wakka asks._

_Squeak._

"Did the doll do that?" _Rikku exclaims._

_Help... me... magic... _

"What.. ? Magic... ?" _Lulu wonders._

_Magic... gone wrong..._

"What magic?" _Rikku asks._

"Could Yuna really be this a doll?" _Lulu wonders._

"If so, there's gotta be a cure! She said 'magic', right? Well, we gotta get a spell reversal! I think Father has a sphere of it!" _Rikku explains._

_Rikku runs outside and beams up to the airship._

"Vydran! E haat dra Magic Reversal Sphere! Bmayca rinno! Yunie ryc paah dnyhcvunsat ehdu y tumm!" _Rikku exclaims frantically._

"Ymm nekrd ymnayto! Ed'c eh dra Sphere Cabinet! Tuh'd pa cu vnyhdel un drana'mm pa hu suna cheesecake!" _Cid yells._

_Rikku runs to the cabinet and grabs the sphere._

_Back at Besaid... Rikku beams down._

"I got it!" _she exclaims_

_**Magic Reversal: Dolls. Du najanca dra doll spell, oui haat y cmela uv cheesecake yht 30 Cactuar Needles. Seq dras dukadran fedr fydan yht cryga famm. Bnacdu! Oui huf ryja y doll reversal potion! Kuutpoa. Hu naymmo, kuutpoa. Yr, clnaf ed. **_

"Oh no!" _Rikku exclaims. _"I ate all the cheesecake!"

"That would explain your stomach ache earlier.." _Lulu says._

"No! Yunie's not around to make another cheesecake!" _Rikku shouts._

"What about the needles?" _Tidus asks._

"Oh, I got hundreds of them! I pulled them out of Wakka's World Champion after our Cactuar Quest to get my Mercury Sigil!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Just then, Keepa strolls by selling cheesecake._

"Keepa? Why are you selling cheesecake?" _Wakka asks._

"Fundraiser, ya? We ain't been winning lately, so might as well make some money." _Keepa says._

_Rikku runs out and buys a slice of cheesecake. She mixes the potion just as the sphere explained. _

"Is it gonna work?" _Rikku wonders as she pours the potion over the Yuna doll. It works! Yuna turns back to normal! _

"...why.. why am I wet?" _Yuna asks._

"It's a long story... so, uh... let's just say you sort of had an accident." _Rikku says._

"An accident? Not again! I hate when that happens!" _Yuna exclaims._

"Like when Yuna wets the bed sometimes?" _Tidus asks._

"Don't go there please." _Yuna says._

_**TBC...**_

_**Poor Yunie... wetting the bed...**_

_**Anyway! Doram is cute, but Bickson is gay!**_


	22. The Power Plant?

_Blackout in Besaid! Something's happened at the new power plant that the Al Bhed set up!_

"That power plant is bad news!" _Wakka shouts._

"Brother was in charge! Let's get him!" _Tidus declares._

"Fyed! ...wait! He's got backup!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Maybe we could repower it? Then, everyone could be happy!" _Yuna suggests._

"...fine. Let's restore power, then." _Wakka agrees._

_They travel to the power plant. Brother is running around trying to restore power. _

_Yuna has an idea._

"I know! Pikachu! I summon you!" _she exclaims._

_Pikachu appears. Yuna also summons Ixion for backup. The Al Bhed Psyches, who are Brother's backup, advance on them._

"Al Bhed Psyches? You suck!" _Tidus taunts._

_They call out the Oblitzerator 2000._

"Uin haf Oblitzerator lyh cruud cbegat pmedwpymmc yht sykelym vmysehk kynpyka! Yht drec desa, DRANA EC HU LNYHA DU RAMB OUI!" _Brother shouts._

_Rikku steals a Grenade from it and watches it fall apart._

"Ooh! Big machina fall down and go crash!" _she taunts._

"Al Bhed Psyches! Kad dras! Ica ouin haf blitzookas!" _Brother commands._

_The Psyches start bombarding Wakka with blitzballs. Pikachu thunderbolts the Psyches._

"Muugc mega dra Al Bhed Psyches yna pmycdehk uvv ykyeh!" _the Psyches yell as they fly away into the distance._

"Look! I found out why the machina fell apart so easily!" _Rikku exclaims._

_On the side of the machina: "K-Mart"._

"Brother hasn't got much taste." _Yuna says._

"Crid ib!" _Brother shouts as he makes his escape. The others let him escape so he can still play blitzball._

_Pikachu and Ixion restore power. Everyone is happy._

_Hours later..._

_Rikku is over-happy... she had become curious about what Auron had in his jug. She took it when Auron had left it on the table. She drank everything from it. Turs out it was some kind of mixture of rum and wine... now they can't get her to shut up!_

"HA HA! Look at me! I'm the Magical Machina Fairy!" _Rikku exclaims as she throws her Godhand across the room, knocking over a plant. _

"Rikku..." _Yuna says as she sprinkles some Pollen._

_Rikku falls fast asleep from the Funguar Pollen. _

"Let's let her rest.." _Yuna whispers._

_Everyone leaves while Rikku sleeps._

_**TBC...**_

_**Fade out with Auron hiding his jug in a chest on the airship. Unfortunately, the chest is in the cargo hold where the Psyches gather...**_


	23. Just Another Day

_What's happening, man? Oh, look! Kimahri's Zombifying things with his Dragoon Lance! And then he casts Life on them! _

"Kimahri customize Zombiestrike." _Kimahri explains._

_Auron zombifies a Dark Flan. The Dark Flan casts White Wind, hurts itself, and removes Zombie._

"What a fool... farewell!" _Auron says, finishing off the Dark Flan._

_What? Yuna can do that too? _

"Zombiestrike, courtesy of Lady Yunalesca!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Suddenly, a Tonberry pops up._

"BLUE CHEESE!" _it yells._

_Bahamut stomps on it and flattens it into a pancake. Wakka promptly cooks it and eats it._

_Apparently, Brother has set up yet another sham, er, shop (after being fired from the Aurochs to make room for the much hotter Kiyuri)._

_Brother's Sign Says:_

"Blue Cheese vun cyma! Kad ouin Blue Cheese! Uhmo 20 gil!"

"He's selling blue cheese?" _Rikku exclaims in disgust._

"E syta drec blue cheese socamv! E haat suhao vun suna blitzball cgemmc! Rikku! Vydran cyoc oui ryja du ramb! " _Brother yells._

_Rikku throws a Grenade at Brother's 'shop' and blows it away! Brother runs off to tell Cid or whatever. He leaves behind a magazine. Rikku picks it up._

"Babes of Blitzball... ? Brother... you moron.." _she says._

_Wakka takes the magazine._

"Hey, Linna's in here!" _he exclaims._

_Tidus takes it._

"So's Kiyuri! And Shaami! And Deim!" _he exclaims._

_Kulukan walks by, looking sad._

"I'm never in that magazine..." _she says._

"Hey, why's Shuu in here?" _Tidus asks. _

"Yeah, I thought Shuu was a guy..." _Wakka says._

"There's something wrong with him.. or her... or whatever.." _Tidus says._

_Kiyuri arrives. _

"Hi! I wanna do my Invisible Shot again!" _she exclaims._

"Looks like she's found Yuna's new batch of Yuneos..." _Lulu says._

"That's not all I found! Look! A Sphere!" _Kiyuri exclaims._

_She activates it._

_**Three Dingo's are standing around.**_

**"Bud..."**

**"...weis.."**

**"...er."**

_**A Zuu swoops down and swallows them.**_

**"Coors." _it says._**

"Cool! I'm gonna go find more!" _Kiyuri exclaims._

_She runs off._

_Yuna arrives from her training. She has brought back some movie spheres._

"Let's have a movie night!" _she exclaims._

"Cool! I'll make popcorn!" _Rikku exclaims._

_First movie... "The Tale of the Talking Tonberry"._

_Later..._

"Funny! I liked it when the Tonberry attacked that fat guy and said "Doink"! _Rikku exclaims._

"It was cool when the Master Tonberry came and kicked the crap out of the Tonberry!" _Tidus says._

_Yuna makes more popcorn, then starts the next movie. "The Curse of the Sword"._

"Oh no! It sounds scary!" _Rikku whines._

_Later... Rikku is hiding under a blanket. Auron had arrived, and filled his jug with Budweiser. Yuna is trying to get Rikku to come out._

"Okay, it's over." _she says._

"Really? Phew.. E'ja hajan paah cu clynat pavuna eh so meva! Ajah uh dra Thunder Plains!" _Rikku says._

"Here's nice movie... " _Yuna says._

_..."Fairy Dance"..._

"Fairies? No way, I'm outta here!" _Tidus says._

_Tidus, Wakka, and Auron leave._

_Later..._

"Cool! I loved that movie! It was sweet! The fairies were so cute! So were the bunnies!" _Rikku exclaims._

"I'm glad you liked it." _Yuna says._

"I'm sleepy..." _Rikku says, drowsily._

_She drifts off to sleep._

"Aww..." _Yuna whispers._

_**Well, Well...**_

_**Brother's been fired! Kiyuri replaces him!**_

_**Linna's been released as well! Zev Ronso has arrived!**_

_**Hey, Wakka forgot his 'Babes of Blitzball' magazine!**_

**_TBC..._**


	24. The Last Chronicle

_Hey, what's happening, man?_

"Besaid's so quiet when the Aurochs are in Luca..." _Yuna says._

"They _really_ wanna win Kingdom Hearts II!" _Rikku exclaims._

"And Lulu is away for magic training... Kimahri went to Gagazet to beat Biran and Yenke at poker. Auron is capturing fiends at Djose..." _Yuna says._

_Suddenly, a pack of Dingoes rushes in._

"Who lets these things in!?" _Yuna shouts as she fries them all with Thundaga._

"Remember when I got transported to that weird island where Tidus and Wakka were younger? There was someone named 'Riku' there and it was weird! Oh well, we went to the 'Secret Place' and..." _Rikku says._

"...and what? As if I can't figure it out.." _Yuna asks._

"We drew pictures on the walls!! What, you thought we'd do it!? You've got a twisted mind, Yunie! ...I'm so proud of you!" _Rikku exclaims._

_The Aurochs return... with Kingdom Hearts II!_

_They go straight to the temple._

"They seem excited. I've played it. You start out as this guy, Roxas, and..." _Rikku says._

"Okay! I think it's time for Yuneos!!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Deim, Kulukan, and Kiyuri magically appear all at once._

_They all join Rikku in a Yuneo-eating rampage._

**Looks like... this is the...**

_**"Wait! Let me say it! All right... this thing has gone pretty far, right? Well, don't you think we should call it quits? My beer machine is nearly empty and Yuna is running low on ingredients for Yuneos. Plus, the Aurochs are going to playing Kingdom Hearts II quite a lot nowadays. And they should! Especially when reach Olympus... well, this is the end... goodbye." Auron says.**_

_**THE END... sadly.**_

__


End file.
